Inner Awakening Part 2

Energy Darshan


Energy darshan is my favourite. Darshan can be roughly translated as “vision.” Darshan is used to describe the holy sight of a saint or enlightened being. For an open receiver, just seeing an enlightened being has the power to create deep and lasting transformation.

Energy darshan is when Swamiji radiates enlightenment and directly transmits the enlightenment experience to us. This process also physically awakens the non-mechanical parts of the brain which consists of subtle grooves that are responsible for higher intelligence and spiritual powers. In that moment, our brain mirrors His enlightened brain. If we are receptive and available in an enlightened being’s energy field, we’ll catch a glimpse of enlightenment.

We all line up and wait our turn to be at Swamiji’s lotus feet. We can take personal notes to Swamiji if we would like specific healings or blessings. These are especially helpful if you’re too shy to talk to Him, like me. Sometimes if we go there without a note, we forget what we wanted to say in His powerful presence. Or we feel what we are asking for is way too insignificant when there’s Shiva right in front of us!

When it’s our turn, we kneel in front of Him with our hands in a surrendered space. The palms of our hands release and soak up energy, having them open and facing Swamiji allows us to soak up as much of His energy as possible. Then Swamiji will read the note, place His hand on your forehead or third eye, and gives you a hug after blasting you with energy. After  your darshan, you are given a bilwa leaf dipped in honey. This helps our systems retain the energy Swamiji transmitted to us during the darshan.

One night after energy darshan,  I could not stop the tears streaking down my cheeks. Two rivers were pouring from my eyes and wetting the front of my sari. I felt a little embarrassed, but what to do! The intense vibration of darshan causes the samskaras, the hidden layers of the unconscious to erupt, and that’s exactly what was happening. I just sat and gazed at Swamiji as He attended to His other devotees. I love watching Him hug them, I feel I am also being hugged.

During one energy darshan, Swamiji began dancing and singing in His seat and stopped darshan temporarily. I was kneeling beside Him at His feet and was blessed with this opportunity to see the Avatar dance and sing up close. Again, when these things happen, it feels like they happen just for you!

I’ll relate to you my most unforgettable energy darshan memory. I was in line, inching closer and closer to the stage where Swamiji sat, just radiating bliss. I found myself slipping deeper and deeper into a really pleasant mood and all I wanted in life is to admire this divine being. A girl in front of me tried talking to me, but I was totally uninterested in what she had to say. I was far too engrossed in this state to care about talking or seeing anything but Shiva.

When it came to be my turn, I was in a highly receptive mood. Through a note, I asked Swamiji to please remove my anxiety and all the tension I felt balled up inside me. He read my letter, looked at me with His massive smile and said “I’ll heal it!”As I kneeled in front of Him, He firmly placed His hand on my forehead then gently hit my chest with the other. As he hit my chest, it felt like all the air in my lungs left my body along with all the stress and tension I had accumulated in my life. In one moment, all that heaviness was zapped away just like that! In the subsequent hours, I experienced a state of supreme intoxicating bliss. I felt completely melted – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I couldn’t stop smiling! I wanted to laugh just because I AM. It was like I myself had been dipped in honey. Everything felt right. Everything made sense. I enjoyed such extreme mental clarity that I couldn’t even remember what worry, fear, guilt or shame felt like. Swamiji gave me a glimpse of eternal bliss – my destiny, my life purpose and goal.

Ever since then, I could never forget about it. I knew I needed to taste this more in my life, to have it permanently. I knew it was real, and most importantly, possible. It was one of the sweetest gifts Swamiji has ever given me.

Sri Vidya Homa

This was the day after a beautiful offering to the goddess Devi, the Cosmic Mother.


Shivoham Process


Shivoham = I am Shiva

Paramahamsa Nithyananda resides in the state of Shivoham at all times, and as an Avatar, He takes seekers into that same space during the Shivoham process. He utilizes light and sound to infuse all the participants with Shivoham. During our lives, we ingest many wrong visualizations and verbalizations that become inscribed in our biomemory. Swamiji cleanses our systems of all the wrong lights and sound and gives us a taste of completion.

We sat in a mandala, a geometric pattern, around Swamiji, with Him being the centre. Each line of the mandala must be made up of either entirely male bodies or entirely female bodies. In the above photograph, you can see what that looks like. The divine masculine and feminine energies are invoked and the participants are infused with the muscle memory and biomemory of Shiva. The dormant DNA cells, the so-called “junk DNA,” is awakened through this process also. Our mitochondrial cells start rejuvenating themselves and the process of aging is slowed down considerably.

Throughout the process, the energy has different physiological effects on different bodies. Some people scream, some people laugh, some people vibrate or jump while cross-legged, and some peoples’ hands automatically form various mudras, yogic hand gestures. At first, my head shook side to side, then I had this uncontrollable twitching on just one side of my face. It must have looked really funny! I also burst into spontaneous laughter, and afterwards I settled down. Now I sit rather still, with some circular movement in my spine and neck.

During Shivoham, some people report having visions of various deities or strongly feeling the presence of these gods and goddesses. Everyone’s experiences are unique and different. This is the only place in the whole world we can experience this process! There are other methods for awakening kundalini, but it’s not safe unless done by an enlightened master. Swamiji has learned it as a science, meaning He can reproduce this effect over and over again. The best news is there is no meditation experience required, we just need to sit and be available to the Master.

Atma Linga


During the program, Swamiji gifted us each with an atma linga. It is a pure 24 karat spatikum linga with a beautiful sri chakra carved on the top, representing the male and female energies of the Cosmos. He told us it was like having a portable Swamiji with us at all times – a personal deity! They came inside a special bhasma bag made with cloth that Swamiji wore and energized Himself. Some bhasma, sacred ash, was also inside. He told us this bhasma is energized by the bag itself, and if we create a strong space and intention, we can blow bhasma and our wish will come true. Atma means soul, or individual consciousness, and the linga is a deity that represents the cosmic egg, Shiva.


During one of the breaks, I thought I had carefully placed my atma linga inside my bag and left to use my phone. When I came back, it wasn’t there! I was shocked and started panicking because Swamiji was going to lead us into the process of energizing our lingas to our consciousness very soon and I had already lost mine! I checked in the lost and found – nothing! A bunch of the ladies I sat around were all looking around the area, but to no avail. My friends asked their atma lingas to help me find mine. Five minutes later, I checked the Lost & Found one more time, and it was there! It’s seriously a miracle that my atma linga was found in a hall with 600 + people inside, everyone walking to and fro. This incident really cleared up a lot of doubt I was having about the power of this gift.

My friends had left their bags while interacting with the deities outside. They didn’t care about the money or possessions, but they really needed their passports to get home. They asked their atma lingas to return their stolen bags. When they looked again, the bags were there! The cash was stolen, but their important documents were left intact.

The first night my roommate and I had our atma lingas, we sweat profusely. It was definitely an energy blast, which made the heat in our bodies increase! It was such a sweet gift. Since then, I’ve used my atma linga to heal my old laptop, the mouse pad didn’t work at all and I needed documents. I placed the atma linga there and it immediately started working, after several failed attempts over a span of months! This past year I also suffered a soft tissue injury in my knee, and again, after months of pain, I placed the atma linga on my knee and the pain cleared up by 90% afterwards. The uses for the atma linga are infinitely practical.

Third Eye


Before the initiation, Swamiji explained to us all that in order to open the third eye, we need to sit in the presence of a being whose third eye is already fully awakened. While explaining how it works, He gave us the metaphor of a flame jumping from one candle to the next.

As we sat in the mandala formation with our atma lingas pressed between our brows, Swamiji directed our kundalini to awaken our third eyes. Afterwards, we went through a meditation process that involved looking through our third eyes into a projected image of Swamij’s three eyes. Then we started the fun part – manifesting the powers!

During one session, my partner handed me a small piece of paper and as soon as the paper hit my hand, I KNEW without a shadow of a doubt it was “W.” In the blackness, I saw a blue W flash very quickly in my inner space. I was able to see the word “BOAT” as well, but I said the letters in the wrong order. Many times, I was also able to intuitively point to the location of a letter or shape on the piece of paper. Other times, I’d find out I was reading someone else’s papers and not my own!

Despite these super cool experiences, I started feeling frustrated with trying to read when I saw nothing but darkness or my mind would settle in and I’d start guessing instead of definitively knowing the answer. What stops us from being able to read clearly all the time? It is what Swamiji refers to as SDHD (self-doubt, self-hatred, and self-denial). The powers start to fully flower in those who surrender to and have integrity to the guru, in which case, SDHD significantly decreases as our certainty of self grows.

What is incredibly extraordinary besides awakening the perceptions of the third eye? We were shown a National Geographic documentary on Kumbh Mela, a massive Hindu festival. In the film, they documented sadhus (wandering Hindu saints) who go through immense tapas, spiritual penance, just to open up these powers in themselves. These tapas include standing on one leg for twelve years or having one arm raised for decades! Swamiji is so powerful, He can open up anyone’s third eye with just one look without the initiate having done any tapas. Reading blindfolded is just the kindergarden level of expressing third eye powers. The more advanced powers involve scanning bodies for disease, clearly seeing and describing people and places that are thousands of miles away, and reading the Akashic records.

If you’re interested, you can watch the Kumbh Mela documentary here (Swamiji makes a cameo at 40:14):

Snaan in Ganga and Yamuna


One morning, we took buses to a ghat along the Ganges river and did our morning yoga routine while the sun rose. We felt the early morning gentle sunlight and witnessed the Ganga sparkle to life. After yoga, we took a refreshing dip in Ganga. The rejuvenating  waters of Ganga are so powerful, anyone who takes a dip has their karmas erased. It was the cleanest I’d ever felt, inside and out. I felt brand new!

In the picture below, I had just taken my first dip in Ganga after morning yoga.


On another day, we took a field trip to Prayag, also known as Allahabad. We ventured to the site where the world’s largest gathering of people takes place every twelve years for Kumbh Mela, where the Ganga, Yamuna, and now dried-up Saraswati meet. It was over 40 degrees Celsius and the sand that was kicked up while walking burned the soles of my feet, even inside my sandals. Swamiji lead a large entourage to the rivers, so swift yet so gracefully. I’m an active 20-something year old yet I found Him so difficult to keep up with!

We finally reached the soothing waters, which was a welcome change from the burning sand. The ancient Vedic scriptures say that our sins are washed away when we take snaan, holy bath, in these rivers. But the rivers’ sins are washed away when an Avatar dips in their waters. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. Despite the harsh exterior conditions, and my tendency to become irritated in those situations, I felt calm inside.

Death Meditation

Before the actual process, we complete with all our ideas about death and our feelings about the death of loved ones.

Swamiji has designed this meditation process to consciously lead us through a psychological death. The purpose of the death meditation is to mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepare ourselves for the transition of death. He also gave us His commitment that at our death, He will be there and we will have two options: to merge and dissolve into Sadashiva or take one last human life as a conscious, enlightened being.

This soothed so many of my anxieties about dying. Not in a superficial way, like if you are good, you get into Heaven. No. I deeply know, trust, and understand experientially that I can merge with Existence at the time of my body’s death with absolutely no preconditions, simply remembering Swamiji.

Nithya Healing Initiation

During a special energy darshan, Swamiji gives us a sacred initiation into healing ourselves and others. “Others” includes humans, animals, and even inanimate objects like laptops and cell phones. Swamiji is so compassionate – it is a way for the healer to connect with divine energy and let that energy flow through their body while also helping another being.

How does the healing work? We place our hands on the affected body part, connect to our ananda gandha, a spiritual energy centre located between the navel and heart, and inwardly chant a mantra to invoke the healing energy. Intuitively, we will know when to stop the healing.

We were given the option for self-healing or to have the ability to heal ourselves and others. In order to be a strong vessel for healing others, that initiation has certain lifestyle and dietary requirements that I was not willing to make at the time. I opted for self-healing. I can still use my atma linga to heal others, but I am not able to without my atma linga on hand.


  • For a while, I’d been noticing that the hair around my temples was thinning, likely due to stress. Within a few months, my hairline and regular thickness was restored.
  • I had a couple stubborn knots in my back as a result from being chronically stressed out. They caused me discomfort every day. They were gone for good!
  • I lost excess weight permanently. I exercised a lot, thought I was eating reasonably well, but the weight hardly budged even though I was very active. I cycle for transportation, I was playing roller derby, and on my feet all day at my job. After IA and by the July championship game, my previously fitted jersey was baggy. I comfortably fit into skinny jeans I wore when I was 16.
  • Before IA, I had developed seasonal allergies: my whole face would feel sore and I’d want to rip it off. I lived throughout the rest of the spring and summer without any itching, sneezing, and swelling.
  • On a nearly daily basis, I would get some slight uterine cramping unless I took a magnesium supplement religiously. After IA, I walked free from this daily cramping!
  • The last time I saw my kitty before Inner Awakening, he was in the hospital with liver failure and jaundice. I didn’t want to leave him, but I knew I had to. I cried quietly to myself during my first night in India worrying about him. The vets didn’t know what else to do for my cat, then my kitty started making a sudden recovery. There’s no doubt in my mind that Swamiji took care of my fur baby. I had Swamiji bless both my cats for good health and they have not suffered from any serious illness or even a kitty cold. Before that, both our cats suffered from kitty viruses, Jules needed major oral surgery, Dobby had some strange disease that caused inflammation of his body. They’re happy and healthy now.
  • On the last day of the program, participants share their experiences live on Nithyananda TV. I remember feeling miserable at that moment, for whatever reason. Then, a woman came on stage while our Inner Awakening host announced her miraculous healing experience. This woman’s right eye has been blind for many years, and two years before, she had requested healing from Swamiji and right then, right there during the IA graduate sharings in Varanasi, she was healed! She was too stunned to speak herself. My mood turned around immediately, I felt so happy for her. I also understood that Swamiji will always give what you need and want, but the inner space for the healings and blessings needs to be just right. There is always the potential for spontaneous healing in a receptive individual, but sometimes we must wait while Swamiji prepares us to receive His gifts.

Through Swamiji, people have been healed of autism, multiple sclerosis, cancer – conditions that modern medicine deem incurable!

Space of Shivoham

As I sat on the plane from Varanasi to Delhi, I felt something inside just start pouring out of me. I went into an ecstatic bliss. I couldn’t stop smiling. When I arrived home, I wasn’t tired from travel at all. I felt refreshed.

During my first weekend back in Canada, my roller derby team was scheduled for a bout. I was half-deaf with an ear infection, I had missed six bouts while I was gone, and had obviously not been practicing with my teams while away. But I skated with much more ease, and I could feel my body working hard but I never felt mentally tired of it. I had a lot of fun and was awarded with MVP.

That summer, I was hired for a year-long paid internship. The year before, I applied but wasn’t hired. I went into the interview with minimal preparation and I didn’t have any proper footwear. I literally bought flats as soon as the stores opened at 10, went to my interview, and then returned them. I’m telling you to illustrate how little effort I put in, whereas I felt so stressed and over-prepared myself the year before.

Any time a nervous feeling crept into my belly, I would silently chant “Shivoham” and it would vanish! It was really fun!

When my mom came to visit me, she told me she felt like she wanted to be around me all the time. The bliss just oozed from my my biomemory to hers.

From this experience, I know that this state of consciousness is real. It is very difficult for us to imagine exactly what bliss is when the highest state most humans have experienced is that of fleeting happiness. Happiness is temporary, it is a psychological “up” of the mind and is often triggered by outer world events. Bliss is an eternal happening and it flows despite any outside circumstances. Only sometimes do we get very small glimpse of bliss when the debris of confusion and worry is lifted. I can say that I experienced a large quantity of bliss chemistry. It was actually so foreign to me, I wasn’t able to integrate, settle with, and maintain this seemingly overwhelming state.

But I knew that I could never settle for anything less than bliss, which is total freedom. And I knew that following a divinely realized being such as Paramahamsa Nithyananda is the key. He transmitted this state of consciousness to me by His own power, and He teaches all of us the science of bliss chemistry.

I learned that Swamiji can give us all enlightenment at any moment, but most of us will not feel comfortable even in a state of total liberation because we are so accustomed to being slaves to our patterns.Therefore, it is up to us to align our thoughts, words, and actions to the reality we want by tuning our physical, physiological, psychological, and neurological circuits to bliss, enlightenment.


  • I am able to be on time for a lot more of my commitments now. I used to always be late for every single thing. I’m not perfectly integrated, but this aspect of my life has improved tremendously.
  • Before, I wanted my boyfriend to come with me everywhere. The longest we had been separated is one week. Now, I’ve been separated from him for quite a few periods of weeks and I just dropped the feeling of powerlessness when it came to my dependency on him.
  • I can go to sleep in the dark by myself now. I don’t need to turn on Netflix or keep the lights on anymore. Lifelong fear of the sleeping alone in the dark GONE. Just like that.
  • I smile more!
  • Subjects and concepts that used to rouse a really fiery anger inside no longer do, I feel a lot more peace and calm now that much of the existential angst is gone from my system.
  • Even when I’m cranky or mad or sad, I can shake it off a lot easier. The hangover of these emotions doesn’t linger in my body-mind-spirit system for days, weeks, or even months and years like they used to.
  • I no longer suffer from anxiety attacks or depression. I am also free of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Ten years of psychological, physiological suffering was swept away.
  • I don’t puke out of nervousness anymore. Before class or work, I would puke even if I may not be psychologically stressed out at that moment, but the nervous system felt overloaded. My neurology was rewired and I no longer have that response.
  • I would always get weird infections, like ringworm or something or other. I know, gross, but it doesn’t happen anymore.
  • I’m not a hypochondriac anymore – har har Mahadev!
  • I am no longer a cynical, sarcastic pessimist and neither a totally outraged activist. Now I have the option to tune into a constant stream of inspiration in the form of Swamiji and sangha to create my inner space and life how I want it to be.
  • Living in my body literally, physically feels different than before. I constantly feel Swamiji’s energetic presence coursing through my body and I don’t feel as lonely as I used to. That is part of having a feeling connection with the Master.

Most importantly, I now understand the highest possibility and potential of my life is to radiate and manifest the space of Sadashiva and to help others also manifest Sadashiva. My anxiety and depression, which I had always felt was a curse, turned out to be a blessing that lead me to Swamiji. My suffering fueled my seeking, and I found not only what I wanted, but the Source from which everything comes.

Feel free to comment with any questions you might have, I would be happy to answer you.  If you’re interested in experiencing the Inner Awakening program yourself, you can find more information about it at the website:



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